


in the cold of winter (there's only you and me)

by pettytooru



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Dorks in Love, Established Relationship, F/F, Family Issues, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Lots of kissing, Miya Atsumu Needs a Hug, Post-Canon, Post-Time Skip, Rule 63, Snowball Fight, They're In Love Your Honor, Trans Female Character, Trans Miya Atsumu, because they deserve it, good luck, take a shot every time atsumu laughs challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:46:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29364951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pettytooru/pseuds/pettytooru
Summary: In which there are snowball fights, countertop make outs, and intimate discussions of self-worth.(Sakusa Kiyoomi learns to love the winter with the warmth of Miya Atsumu by her side.)
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 9
Kudos: 52





	in the cold of winter (there's only you and me)

**Author's Note:**

> cw // really tame boob-touching during kissing, and hints of transphobia/sexism when discussing Atsumu's relationship with a distant relative
> 
> I'm back with more fem sakuatsu to feed the soul. I hope you enjoy this extremely self-indulgent snow day fic; I wrote it instead of going out into the actual snow that's still lingering around my garden.
> 
> I wrote this whilst listening to the entirety of 'FLOWERS for VASES' by Hayley Williams on repeat, so go tune in for the vibes!!! It's such a great album and gives me very sapphic vibes for some reason <3

That was it. The final straw. 

At that moment, Kiyoomi vowed that they were over.

Pursuing a relationship with her teammate had always been risky, especially when said teammate was the one and only _Miya Atsumu_. It was always going to end in a disaster.

Who would’ve thought that the feeling of ice trickling past her nape, intruding in the previous-warmth of her coat, was the thing that would push her over the edge.

That _bastard_.

“Miya, you’re dead.” 

Kiyoomi’s (very real) threat fell on deaf ears, however, as the other woman doubled over, gasping for air as she continued laughing. She hadn’t stopped for almost five minutes.

As menacing as the dark haired woman usually appeared, her standard intimidation had been compromised by a comically oversized trench coat and a head that was now covered in thick snow, the flakes clinging stubbornly to the curls of her fringe. 

Running out of ideas to stop the humiliation bubbling up in her chest, Kiyoomi did the next best thing she could think of: she leant down, gathered snow up in between her hands, and threw it. 

Deadly accurate. Right at her girlfriend’s face.

The guffawing, _Atsumu was still going-_ , abruptly cut off as she got a mouthful of snow, suddenly looking up with shock written all over her face. 

Atsumu stood with her mouth agape, water dripping from her chin. Kiyoomi was about to celebrate, finally ready to catch a break and apologise, putting an end to this. Her toes were blocks of ice in her shoes, her fingers having lost all feeling a long time ago. She was practically reeling to head back into the safety of their temporary-housing. 

But then, just as she went to suggest that they leave and get cleaned up, Atsumu _grinned_. 

It was an expression Kiyoomi had witnessed hundreds of times before; usually reserved for their rivals on the court or for their private competitions they held in team practice. 

It was the promise of retaliation, the desire to win burning in her eyes and crackling through her fingers.

_Oh, fuck._

_This wasn’t how it was supposed to go._

Before Kiyoomi had the chance to regret her life choices up to that point any further, Atsumu had crafted another ball of snow and lobbed it in her direction. She threw herself to the side, dodging it on reflex. 

“You’re not gettin’ away that easy, Omi-omi!” 

Kiyoomi simply did what anybody would when face to face with 177 pounds of professional athlete running at them, a bundle of snow cradled in their arms; 

she ran.

It was surely a sight to behold; two grown women, both easily over six foot, sprinting through the streets and shouting at one another. 

On any other day, it would’ve been a cause for concern amongst the locals - but that day, with white continuously falling from the sky and blanketing the pavements, nobody spared them a second glance. 

Any unspoken rules of etiquette were out of the window when the extremes of weather made themselves known. 

Whilst the taller woman was certain she could outpace her girlfriend in a race, Atsumu had other advantages that bridged the gap. Perhaps the most prominent being the fact that she was _used_ to this; having a never ending battle with her twin brother, one that had only grown in intensity as they got older, prepared her for petty fighting and psychological warfare. 

This meant that Atsumu had some dirty tricks up her sleeve. One of which she played that day:

Kiyoomi was still running when she heard a heavy thud behind her, faltering in her steps at the whimper that went alongside it.

“‘Tsumu? You okay?” 

The blonde was in a heap on the floor, head hung low as she cradled her hands to her chest. 

“ _Ow_.” A gentle whine could be heard from meters away, the complaint spoken by a voice coated in emotion.

Kiyoomi rushed over without a second thought, kneeling down in front of her lover. She reached out to tilt her chin up, gloved palms on either side of the other’s face. Their eyes locked for a moment, both equally wide and searching.

“Did you twist your ankle? Is your wrist okay? How did you fall? Do you need me to-”

Kiyoomi trailed off when, after a moment, Atsumu’s lips tugged up at the corners. Her pout was replaced with a cat-like grin, eyes squinting in the corners.

_Wait, what?_

Captured by a movement on the edge of her vision, Kiyoomi looked down to Atsumu’s hands. 

The hands still holding the snow she’d gathered earlier.

The hands that raised up, almost in slow motion, and crushed said snow _all over Kiyoomi’s face_.

Where she thought it had been cold before, the ice on her cheeks and nose made Kiyoomi gasp in shock. Instinct had her pushing Atsumu backwards, not feeling sorry in the slightest as she heard a small ' _oof!'_ when her girlfriend hit the floor properly this time.

(They had managed to end up in a secluded park area, so the floor beneath them was soft, anyway.)

“You! You _fucker_!”

“Omi I-” Incessant guffawing rang out again, booming and loud amongst the stillness of the world around them. Atsumu’s laugh wasn’t particularly attractive, snorting in some places, wheezing in others, but Kiyoomi had come to love it. Unfortunately. “I’m sorry! You were just runnin’ so fast, I had to do somethin’!”

“I thought you were hurt, dumbass!” Kiyoomi’s complaints sounded weak even to herself; relieved laughter bubbling through her own chest, pushing past her lips in between words.

Atsumu crawled over and tucked her head into Kiyoomi’s neck, burrowing into the space between her scarf and coat like it was her due. 

“All’s fair in love and war.” She mumbled, chuckling lightly, placing a cold-lipped kiss to the sliver of skin that she had uncovered.

“I hate you.”

“No, ya don’t.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Hmm.” Atsumu sighed, breath fanning across her girlfriend’s neck. Kiyoomi shivered, not from the cold this time. “What was that? I didn’t hear ya.”

“I _said_ , you’re-” But the words were stolen from her lips as Atsumu covered them with her own, the sound dissolving into a soft hum in her throat.

Nothing else mattered in that moment; not the way snow was slowly seeping through her sweats, nor the ice-cold droplets that were still falling from the tips of her fringe. 

Kiyoomi knew nothing except the burning heat where the two bodies combined into one, tangled in a heap on the floor.

Fingerless gloves getting the best of her, Atsumu slipped her hands under the hoodie Kiyoomi was wearing beneath her coat. She pulled a surprised gasp from the other as icy, calloused fingertips made themselves at home on the fat above her hips. Atsumu leached warmth from Kiyoomi’s body, breaking the kiss to completely snuggle up against her.

“Your hands are _freezing_.”

“Good thing yer stomach is warm then.” As if to prove her point, Atsumu squeezed again. Kiyoomi jumped slightly, then groaned - draping herself over her girlfriend in a feeble attempt to hide her heated cheeks.

“I hate you.”

“Ya know, Omi, keep sayin’ that and maybe i’ll actually think you’re bein’ serious.” 

“Whatever.” She mumbled, rubbing her face against Atsumu’s close-cropped hair. Now that it had been soaked through, the soft waves were replaced by spikes that stood in all directions. 

Kiyoomi didn’t mind the prickliness - that was something she was familiar with.

They laid like that, clinging to one another for what felt like hours. Kiyoomi had completely forgotten her vendetta against the cold, overtaken with warmth she found in the woman beside her.

It had already been mid afternoon when Atsumu insisted the two go for a quote-unquote _romantic stroll_ in the snow, and so the already-grey sky soon began to darken. Noting the changes in the weather, they pulled themselves off the floor 

( _“Shit, my ass is soaked!”_

_“Serves you right for pretending to fall.”_

_“Hey! A bit of sympathy wouldn’t kill you, ya know!”_ ) 

and began walking back.

V. League games weren’t set to start for another month, so the two women had taken a vacation to Hokkaido. Well, _technically_ they were house sitting for Atsumu’s grandmother, keeping the drive clear of snow whilst she was down in Hyogo visiting the rest of the Miyas. 

Their relationship had been slightly dicey since Atsumu had come out years prior, so they tended to avoid one another. However, they had a mutual agreement in which Atsumu would come and house sit for her occasionally - that was the extent of their relationship. 

It did tend to keep the peace though, as well as allowing the younger to bask in the snowfall during the winter months. She was sick of the way it seemed to instantly turn to slush back home, more of a nuisance than a cause for celebration, so these trips gave her a chance to play around as if she were a kid again.

The sky was pitch black by the time they arrived, having grabbed some groceries on the walk back. 

Their temporary home was a single story building nestled in shrubbery at the end of a comically long driveway. Atsumu’s grandmother wasn’t rich, but she had inherited a lot of land from her parents - it had once been a farm, but it hadn’t produced anything in over fifty years now. 

Atsumu was just impressed that the old hag could still walk all this way, a good few minutes to get off her own property, just to go to the local shop. 

Unlocking the front door, the two women began shrugging off their soaked outer layers - trying their best to contain the melted ice that was dripping off them, limiting the mess to the genkan. 

Silently agreeing that they’d sort out the heap of soggy material later, they put on a pair of slippers each before making their way into the kitchen.

“I still can’t feel my fingers.” Atsumu whined, sitting on the counter whilst her girlfriend prepared them some tea. 

Kiyoomi just hummed from where she stood beside her, leaning her weight onto Atsumu’s legs as she focused on pouring the two cups. 

“I really need to get some proper gloves.” She continued, used to filling the silence. “Fingerless ones make me look sexy and cool, but they're not functional at all.” 

Letting out a huff of laughter, the dark haired girl passed the other her drink. Companionable silence filled the room as they sipped, warmth running down their throats and soothing the cold still lingering in their bones.

“We should get changed, my top is _still_ soaked all down the back.” Kiyoomi sighed, cradling her cup between her palms.

Atsumu smirked in response, thinking fondly of the perplexed look on her girlfriend’s face as she had snuck up on her hours earlier; dumping a heap of snow right on the crown of her head.

Perhaps it was problematic to find her girlfriend’s anger so attractive, but she couldn’t really bring herself to care.

As if sensing what the other was thinking about, that glare made itself present on Kiyoomi’s face once again - Atsumu’s grin only widened. 

Their stand-off was broken by a yelp as Kiyoomi grabbed Atsumu’s thigh, pressing the soaked-through fabric into her skin. 

“Your joggers are wet too, you’re gonna get water all over the counter.”

“Well, Omi, you always do have me dripping one way or another, huh?”

The crease between her eyebrows only deepened at that comment, but this time it was paired with a light flush across her cheeks.

Placing her half-empty cup on the counter, Kiyoomi shuffled so that she was positioned between her girlfriend’s thighs - looking up at her. 

Atsumu took that as an unspoken request to put her own cup down, too.

Hand never having left her lover’s thigh, Kiyoomi squeezed again - basking in the thick, firm flesh beneath her palm.

The blonde gasped softly at the touch, pupils dilating as her eyes widened slightly. It was Kiyoomi’s turn to smirk, then. 

She pushed her other hand slowly up Atsumu’s other leg, coming to rest on top of her hip. The thighs bracketing her waist squeezed, caging her in as Atsumu linked her feet together around her back. 

Clothes and hair still slightly damp, they leaned in simultaneously. 

The kiss was soft, unhurried, and full of care. Kiyoomi dragged her hands up Atsumu’s spine, leaning into her as she played with the thick straps of her sports bra that lined her upper back. 

In response, Atsumu cupped her jaw and scratched through the hair at her nape, controlling the tilt of their heads from her vantage point on the counter.

Sliding her fingers under the main part of the compressed fabric, Kiyoomi smirked into the kiss as she ran her hands round from the back to the front of Atsumu’s chest. Brushing her thumb over a nipple and earning a stuttered gasp from the woman above her.

Atsumu tightened her legs’ grip, and Kiyoomi found herself extremely thankful that her equally-as-built body could handle the extra pressure. 

Although, suffocating between Miya Atsumu’s thighs wouldn’t be a bad way to go.

Despite the risqué touches and gentle groping, the kiss didn’t deepen much more than that. Exhaustion was settling in, warm drinks and soft touch leaving them both with heavy eyes.

Albeit reluctantly, Kiyoomi pulled away. They both opened their eyes slowly, as if awakening from a deep sleep in which they only dreamed of each other.

“Can you cook something for us?” Kiyoomi broke the silence, pulling a deep chuckle from Atsumu.

“Is that all I’m good for, Omi?” 

“Well, you’re pretty comfortable too.” She punctuated this statement by snaking her arms around the other’s waist, burrowing her face in the crook of her neck. Just like Atsumu had done to her in the snow just hours prior.

“I see. What’dya fancy?”

“Hmm. What did we buy earlier?”

“Just some vegetables and that brand of udon noodles you like, but we have other stuff in the cupboard too.”

“Noodles would be great.” 

“On it. Go grab us a change of clothes, yeah?”

Nodding, Kiyoomi extracted herself from her lover’s arms, pecking the blonde’s lips one last time before walking down the hall to their bedroom. They always slept in the spare room out of courtesy for Atsumu’s grandmother’s personal belongings. 

Also, the spare room had a bed frame whilst the main bedroom didn’t, and they’d long since gotten used to the western-style bed back in their apartment. 

(This was mainly because, whenever they slept on the floor when visiting friends, Kiyoomi always managed to completely kick Atsumu off the cushions - tangling herself in the blankets whilst her lover was left to go cold. It was a nightmare.)

It was a slightly smaller bed than they were used to, but the cold weather was a perfectly valid excuse to plaster themselves against one another when they slept.

They had been there for a day or so, and whilst Kiyoomi had unpacked everything, Atsumu had just let her clothes fester in their travel bag. It grated the other girl’s patience slightly, but they had only packed winter clothing and the thick materials didn’t seem to get creased easily. This meant she was off the hook, this time.

Pulling their shared suitcase open, Kiyoomi grabbed Atsumu’s old Inarizaki gym t-shirt - deep red with the school’s logo on the upper right hand side - and a pair of knee-length activewear shorts. 

Her girlfriend’s loungewear always managed to mirror that of a thirteen year old boy’s; the ridiculousness of it never failed to make a swell of affection pang in her chest.

For herself, she pulled on the hoodie that she had left neatly folded in the drawer beside the bed - replacing her own sweats with some loose fitting leggings. Slipping out of the cold material that had gotten stuck to her skin, she felt overwhelming relief at the soft caress of the dry fabric she pulled over her head.

By the time she dragged herself back into the kitchen, Atsumu was chopping up various vegetables whilst the broth was heating up on the stove. Wordlessly, Kiyoomi took over as Atsumu pulled the bundle of clothing from her arms - stripping out of her others right there in the kitchen. She threw the damp fabric over a chair in the corner, much like Kiyoomi had done with her own in their bedroom.

Having finally settled into the comfort and warmth of the house, the two finished preparing dinner together. They did taste checks as they added various ingredients, humming as the flavour burst on their tongues, laughing together at their simultaneous sighs of satisfaction. 

When they had poured the udon (complete with various vegetable toppings) into twin bowls, they placed the cooking utensils in the sink and walked through to sit at the kotatsu in the living room. They gave thanks for their food before digging in, snuggled beside each other with the blanket covering their laps.

“It’s nice.” Kiyoomi spoke up, finishing a thought out loud.

“Hmm?” Atsumu questioned, cheeks full.

“It’s nice that your grandmother lets us stay here.”

During their past visits, Atsumu had always kept talk of her grandmother brief - Kiyoomi had never met her, knowing nothing more than the rocky terms the two were on. 

But that day she was feeling brave; they were tired, well fed, and content. Maybe Atsumu would finally open up about it.

“Yeah. Despite all that crazy old woman’s flaws, stayin’ here is worth it. ‘Specially with you.’”

“‘Tsumu.” The blonde likely knew where this was going, but she was yet to tense up like she usually did. Her warmth ever-present at Kiyoomi’s side gave the latter the courage to continue. “What happened between you two? Was it something to do with-”

“Yeah. When I came out.”

“But… Osamu is gay? Why should your bisexuality be an issue?”

“Nah, not my sexuality. It was when I started transitioning.” Atsumu sighed, chewing her final mouthful of food before putting her empty bowl on the table. “‘m just lucky my parents didn’t listen to what she had to say when they told her about me, y’know? Otherwise I never would’ve been able to get hormone blockers. That would’ve sucked.” 

“So, she isn’t supportive of you? Do you think it's because of her age?”

“That's the thing. She’s always been super forward thinkin’, especially for an old lady. I think it’s because she thinks I'm wasting my ‘potential’ or somethin’ - she used to say shit like ‘ _I'd never achieve my dream of bein’ the best setter I could possibly be_ ’ if I was a woman.”

“She’s a big volleyball fan, then?” 

“Yeah.” Atsumu smiled, albeit a little sadly. “Used to come to all of mine and ‘Samu’s games, back when we played on the same team. When I moved to the girls’ team she stopped watchin’ me. It all kinda went downhill from there. Ma would tell her about how I was top of the year, but she never believed it; didn’t even come watch me when I was captain in high school.” 

“Does she know you’re the best setter in Japan, now?”

Atsumu let out a surprised chuckle, finally looking at the woman next to her - eyes finally moving away from the table that she had locked on to.

“Aw, Omi, ya think I’m the best in Japan?”

“Obviously. I wouldn’t let you set to me if you weren’t.”

Laughter echoed around the room once again, Atsumu burying her face in her lover’s shoulder.

“I love ya so much, idiot.”

“I mean it, you know? You’re the best setter I’ve ever known. Your grandmother is missing out. Only watching men’s volleyball must be pretty damn boring.”

“The best part is; she was always cooing about Osamu goin’ pro, talkin’ about her _‘special boy_ ’ joinin’ the Olympic team.” Atsumu poorly covered her sniffle with a feeble attempt at laughter, leaning further into her lover. “I just wish I saw her face when she found out he was quittin’. Haven’t spoken to her properly since I was about seventeen.” 

“Does she just… hate women then?”

“I think-” Atsumu paused for a moment, organising her thoughts. “I think she has some serious insecurity about that stuff - convincing herself the reason that she couldn’t take the pressure of runnin’ a farm was because she’s a lady. It’s probably more self-hatred than anythin’, cause this place meant a lot to her parents.”

“That makes sense.” 

The silence that settled over them was melancholy and somewhat sobering. 

“It just… kinda sucks. ‘Samu is always gettin’ sent shit, and she always coos about him when she’s on the phone to our Ma. I haven’t even gotten a _card_ despite the fact we share our damn birthday-” 

Kiyoomi nudged Atsumu off her shoulder, wrapping her arms around her and pulling her into a hug instead. She ran her hands up and down the blonde’s back, shushing her as the other (unsuccessfully) tried to hold her tears back. 

“Thanks for telling me.” She mumbled, kissing the slither of skin exposed by the neck of Atsumu’s t-shirt. “You deserve better than that. You do.” 

Atsumu gripped her tightly, body trembling ever so slightly. 

“Thanks, Omi. But she had a point, y’know? Maybe it would’ve been better if-”

“No.”

“-huh?”

“Don’t think like that, dumbass.” Kiyoomi grabbed her girlfriend by the shoulders, pushing her back so she could meet her eyes. “Your happiness is so much more valuable than your grandmother’s comfort. It’s more valuable than _anything_ . If you hadn’t transitioned then yeah, _maybe_ you would have one more person to adore you - but you know what? Never in a million years would that be worth it. You’re defined by much more than who loves you, and you are more important than whatever people think of you. Who cares about some sexist, old woman who tried to micromanage your future just ‘cause she was insecure?” 

Atsumu hiccupped slightly, chuckling as a few tears slipped down her cheeks. Kiyoomi thumbed them away, pulling her close. 

“It just hurts, y’know? After all these years, she’s still actin’ the same as she did when I was so young.”

“I understand, Atsumu. It’s okay to be hurt by it; she’s the one in the wrong here. She doesn’t deserve you, anyway.” 

Atsumu processed that for a moment; staring with big, watery eyes before lunging at her lover - hugging her tight, once again. 

“I love you, Kiyoomi.” Her voice was muffled by the hoodie, but the message was loud and clear. 

“I know, ‘Tsumu. I've got you.” 

It wasn’t long before the blonde’s breathing evened out, body limp and face resting on her girlfriend’s shoulder. 

Vowing to clear their mess away in the morning, Kiyoomi gently scooped her girlfriend up as she pushed away the blanket covering their legs. She found herself feeling very fortunate that her well-muscled thighs could lift the two of them, carrying Atsumu through to their room. 

She only extracted herself to brush her teeth and wash her face quickly, more concerned with getting back to her lover than basking in her usual standard of self care.

Atsumu was blinking tiredly at her as she crossed the room to shut off the light, motioning for a hug as Kiyoomi approached the bed.

Not needing the extra prompting, she slid into her arms. Atsumu bit her neck lightly, delirious with exhaustion as she mouthed at the expanse of skin there. 

“Thanks for comin’ out in the snow with me today, Omi.”

Her breath was warm, igniting Kiyoomi's nerves and fighting away the leftover cold from her trip to the bathroom.

“It’s fine.” Kiyoomi paused for a moment. “It was … fun.” 

“I knew ya secretly liked the snow.”

“I wouldn’t agree to visit this place with you if I didn’t, dummy.”

“Hmm. Yeah.” Atsumu mumbled as her voice trailed off, holding her girlfriend tight as she fell asleep.

“I love you, Atsumu. So much.”

She was met with silence, but that was okay. Atsumu knew, anyway.

Snow continued to fall outside the window, the white powder promising another cold day tomorrow.

But the ice trickling down her back had long since dried, replaced with something much warmer. Something that made the harsh weather infinitely more bearable.

Kiyoomi found herself enjoying the winter months a considerable amount, these days.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> come hang out with me on twitter @cowgirlhabit <3
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading!!!
> 
> \- I wrote Atsumu's trans experience loosely based on my _own _trans experience, however I am not a trans woman so I can't claim that it's perfect!!! Everyone has different preferences in terms of self-expression and physical transitioning, but here I imagine that Atsumu was on hormone blockers from a young age, having a very supportive inner circle.__
> 
> _  
> _I'm a huge fan of trans atsumu head canons, so if you have any please feel free to send them to me!! <3_  
> _


End file.
